Are you like me?
I belong to the early 90s generation, a time bridging Gen Y and Gen Z. From a young age, we were set on a fixed path:
Go to school → Graduate → Get a job → Start a family → Retire → Die.
99% of people think this way, but I don’t see anyone happy with their lives.
They complain because they’re not doing what they love and are frustrated with their bosses, colleagues, and families.
When alone, they ponder:
Did I choose the wrong path? Should I change direction? What was I born to do? What is my purpose in life? But then, everything returns to normal because they get caught up in the pressures of making a living or the distractions of social life.
This picture became more apparent in my third year of university. I realized that if I continued on this predetermined path, I would inevitably end up like them.
Feeling guilty (because my parents worked hard to pay for my education), I decided to drop out of college.
While my friends were studying hard for exams, I put everything aside to scour the internet for career trends. I looked at foreign blogs (since, with the spread of the internet, trends would surely come to Vietnam in the coming years).
Instead of spending time with friends or connecting with teachers, I sought conversations with people 5–10 years older than me.
Eventually, I chose digital marketing as the field I wanted to pursue.
In this article, I will share my journey through three stages:
- Working to learn.
- Failing three times in a row.
- Finding the meaning of life.
I. Learning Phase: Working for Others
1. Packing and Shipping
I was fortunate to meet a guy five years older than me, who later became my first mentor on my career path and the boss I cherish the most.
He lived in a 1-million-VND rental room, rode a shabby motorbike (worth about 3–5 million VND), and although he appeared simple on the outside, he ran a surprisingly successful business.
“Can I learn from you?” I asked. “Sure, but you have to ditch all your books, roll up your sleeves, help everyone handle orders, and do deliveries. Okay?” “I can do it, no problem,” I replied, thinking he was testing me.
Three months later, I began writing SEO content instead of continuing with deliveries. During this time, I learned how to write product descriptions and advisory blogs, conduct keyword research, and master SEO techniques. What I learned from him, blogs, and YouTube videos was more valuable than the four years I spent in college.
Awesome!
Seeing keywords climb to the top of Google made me incredibly excited.
But after a while, I started to get bored when there was nothing new to learn.
So, I asked him for permission to leave and move to another company.
2. Working at Kangaroo
On my first business trip, my boss took me to work with the branch director in Da Nang. My heart was pounding at that moment, and my breath was uneven because I was meeting a towering figure I couldn’t imagine ever reaching.
After spending three months in Da Nang, I moved on to Saigon. The city’s hustle and bustle, dynamic energy, and free-spirited lifestyle dazzled me. If not for my obligations in the North, I would have stayed there for good.
Thank you, Kangaroo, for giving me beautiful experiences with the different regional cultures.
3. Landing at True Money Vietnam
True Money is a Thai corporation, so its work environment is influenced by Western capitalists. This means I got to see a professional and technology-driven working style.
From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like a bright future, but not for me. With my Gen Y face but Gen Z mindset, I knew I couldn’t climb to a high position in the company.
My dad said, “If you quit this job, you’re dead to me.” (Sorry, Dad, for not listening to you).
From the beginning, I knew working for others was just for learning, not a place for me to stay forever. I wanted to find my own path and be free to achieve what I wanted. So, in the end, I quietly quit without telling anyone.
II. Running My Own Business and Experiencing Failure
First, I want to clarify what I mean by failure. Failure means I didn’t achieve all of my initial goals:
- Enjoying and being happy with the work I do
- Freedom of time and mind
- Financial freedom
These motivations drove me to start my journey without any guidance.
1. The First Challenge (Travel Gear Business)
Half a year before starting my business, I began building a website and optimizing it for SEO. This helped make my first business project go more smoothly.
In April 2018, I rented a small room on the third floor of a friend’s house. It was a house at the end of an alley, with the first floor always dark. Thinking back, that place was like something out of a shady, illegal operation :)) I couldn’t recruit anyone for half a month.
What should I do?
I realized I needed to invite one or two people to work with me to build trust. By mid-month, I convinced an older lady by promising to teach her online marketing. Luckily, I found a willing learner. As the end of the month approached, another potential recruit showed interest. After a successful interview, she started working at the beginning of May.
Next, I managed to bring in another person as a collaborator. She was interning at a law firm, earning 2 million VND per month, spending his days running around delivering documents, and complaining about losing money after deducting gas expenses. Knowing she was discouraged, I told her, “If it’s too tough out there, come work with me.” Surprisingly, she agreed.
Upon reflection, I realized that working in that ugly office was not a good idea. After a while, they may leave because of the inconvenience.
So, at the beginning of May, I took a risk and moved to a good, more convenient office because it was right on a main road, next to a bus station. However, the rent of $150 was a bit high (in 2018), which worried me.
In the first few months, I had a good income from selling travel gear and taking on external marketing projects. The profits allowed me to expand further, venturing into office furniture. After 4 months, the team grew to nearly ten people, including collaborators and interns.
Deciding to expand by hiring more people was a foolish move. Because it made the operation more cumbersome and difficult to control.
I tried to build a YouTube channel to promote the products during that time, but it failed.
I often stayed up until 2 a.m., only getting a few hours of sleep before waking up early, even on Sundays, to work tirelessly. I did everything from picking up and importing goods, SEO for the website, running ads, shooting videos, answering customer calls, guiding everyone’s work, and more.
Here are some difficulties I faced:
Due to my lack of experience and youthfulness, I encountered issues in training and managing employees.
The first time I had to let someone go, I felt sad for days, as if I had lost a close friend. That’s when I realized that being a boss can be lonely, with people coming and going. It’s inevitable because I couldn’t keep everyone. The pond was too small, and sometimes, the sharks had to venture into the open sea to find new territory.
Entrepreneurship always involves wearing many hats, and I fell into the multitasking trap. Multitasking divided my attention, resulting in decreased productivity and an inability to focus intensely on tasks.
Was this project successful?
- Enjoying and being happy with the work I do: Yes. I was always passionate and energetic about any task related to my project.
- Freedom of time: No. I realized I devoted all my time to work, leaving no space for life.
- Freedom of mind: No.
- Financial freedom: No. At that time, my narrow thinking believed that economic freedom meant earning much money. To earn more money, I needed to scale and automate the business. I tried everything to expand, but the project became increasingly stuck.
Summary: 3 out of 4 goals were not achieved.
It’s a failure.
It’s not okay; I need to find another solution.
To address issues 2 and 4, I need more capital and core personnel resources to share the workload.
But…
2. The Second Failure (Office Furniture Business)
The second failure (Office Furniture Business)
I sold the entire travel gear project, investing all the proceeds into the office furniture sector (which I had been researching for six months).
We consisted of 4 people:
- Hai (the friend I brought in to work together) was in charge of technical construction.
- Another guy (let’s call him B) was in charge of technology.
- One guy (let’s call him A) was responsible for goods and relationships.
- I was in charge of marketing and building the system.
At first, the four of us collaborated well, but the increasing complexity made things tense. The tension stemmed from differing business philosophies, especially during the tough times when COVID-19 hit.
Things turned sour when I invested everything into the project.
At this point, I felt like I had lost my freedom as decisions were constrained by my partners.
With no freedom, it was impossible to work happily, and my mind felt increasingly restricted.
The second failure.
I chose to retreat.
And when you choose to retreat, most of what you invest is considered lost.
But I had to accept it because if I kept lingering, my initial goals would hit a dead end.
It was a crisis, a loss, and in my world, everything seemed bleak.
I became quieter, more contemplative, and felt ashamed facing others. To redeem my soul, I buried myself in studying philosophy and spirituality.
Lost in thoughts like a soulless wanderer.
I spent months wandering around Ha Dinh Lake (where I lived). Every time resentment and blame arose in my mind, I stopped it. This act made my ego collapse in that moment of nowhere to cling to. It was also when I escaped from my own dark and chaotic crisis. I stood up after failure to continue building a new life for myself.
What I learned during this period:
I realized I’m not a great salesperson but rather a technical person, inward-oriented, and interested in building businesses (with an emphasis on automation).
A is ten years older than me, with extensive business experience. Together, we led clients to visit furniture factories and warehouses. The way he told stories captivated both me and the clients. Sometimes, we sat at a café, walked, and exchanged philosophical ideas that I still ponder. Despite later intense conflicts, I’m fortunate to preserve some beautiful moments in my mind (even though we won’t work together anymore).
This experience showed me that besides marketing, salesmanship is crucial.
B is a tech-savvy, knowledgeable person who can explain anything you ask. But being too good, he sometimes got annoyed because everything he said got questioned :))) This person planted a seed about knowledge economy in my mind, which I pursued later. In fact, I received a lot from him. I hope we can continue collaborating on future projects.
This is Hai (on the right); he has the strongest willpower ever. He’s immune to all environments (with people) aiming to steal his fighting spirit. I must admit, I must run a few hundred kilometers more to catch up. We no longer collaborate, but we still regularly keep in touch, supporting each other on our developmental paths.
Summing up the lessons from the second failure.
While the travel project was painted with entrepreneurship enthusiasm, the furniture project brought storms into my life. But during the most challenging times, I learned the most about overcoming failure.
I reflected more, toned down my arrogance, and refrained from judging good or bad but instead looked at issues from multiple perspectives. This is just the beginning of the learning process, and to this day, I continue to strive to hone these skills regularly.
3. Failure again, affiliate marketing
In early 2020, an older brother invited me to do affiliate marketing for crypto with a very fomo tone. Half of me didn’t believe it; the other half was still caught up in the furniture project, so I declined.
About a year later, he bought a BMW.
Shocked.
Now, I was feeling fomo and decided to do Crypto affiliate marketing. In addition, I also did VPN and Hosting.
VPN commissions could go up to 60%.
Depending on the sales volume, hosting commissions ranged from 100% to 150%.
Commission payments would be made after at least 1 month or even 1 year.
We used Google ads for advertising, and the worst part of these games was that accounts died constantly (I had to buy hundreds of emails and other resources).
Crypto ad campaigns didn’t bring in money, no matter how big the budget was.
Luckily, the VPN and hosting performed well.
However, I faced some issues: The fate of an affiliate lies entirely in the hands of Google and the affiliate project owners.
Google can shut down your account anytime without reason, and sometimes money will be stuck there forever.
I realized that running affiliate marketing like this isn’t a long-term development direction. Because my initiative was taken away, I often felt anxious not knowing if they would pay me (if lucky, big profits, but the more you expand, the higher the risk; suddenly, if they hold the money without paying, you might “go broke”).
This is a high-risk model, and I don’t have control. So, affiliate marketing through advertising cannot be considered a long-term career.
III. Other jobs I did simultaneously with the three projects above:
1. Running advertising and website SEO services.
SEO and Google advertising were hot services before, especially in 2020.
But competition became fiercer day by day.
Naturally, I was pushed out of the game.
2. Building apps for businesses.
In my case, apps were mainly built using no-code platforms.
I’m not technically savvy when it comes to app development. What I’m good at is the business operations process. So, whenever there was a project, I would go to Facebook groups to hire technical people at a reasonable price and provide them at a higher price.
But about six months ago, I decided to stop this service.
Because every business has different issues to solve. Dealing with too many problems can quickly drain me and take too much time to handle each case.
In my case, there were very few repetitive tasks, so I couldn’t standardize processes or scale up.
3. Content writing and website design service
You can’t drag me away from my desk with a meal or the hottest movie at the CGV cinema when I’m busy exploring and studying how websites work and building them.
I also tend to get fired up and become irritable when someone interrupts me while writing. I’ve had to make a deal with my family not to disturb me when I’m working with sentences of seriousness (because nobody understands the agony when my train of thought is interrupted).
Upon reflection, this is the job I love the most (even though I used to hate writing in school).
IV. Nothing is meaningless; everything has a reason
I’m not overly disciplined.
I’m someone who quickly gets bored.
I can easily research a topic but quickly switch to another, more interesting topic.
That’s also why I can multitask; during the startup phase, I could do everything, but not profoundly. The only thing I delve deep into is my mind, my thoughts on everything happening in life.
I was born into a very ordinary family without any guidance or direction.
That’s why I had to try everything.
I had to try and fail. I did and failed. There was no other choice; it was the only way to move forward.
Without those failures and suffering and crises, I would never have known about Buddhist philosophy, about teachers like Ngo Minh Tuan, Minh Niem, Thich Thong Lac, Thich Nhat Hanh,… And I would never have known about Western philosophy figures like Friedrich Nietzsche, psychologist Carl Jung, teacher Jordan B. Peterson, Naval Ravikant (a philosopher and entrepreneur),… and even stories about Jesus Christ.
Without life’s big problems, I wouldn’t seek solutions.
I wouldn’t delve deep or contemplate what they say; I would just skim through like a passing breeze, a knowledge collector without practice.
If I hadn’t dared to step out of my comfort zone at 25, I might now regret wasting my youth.
I appreciate and am grateful for the difficulties I’ve been through.
Thank you very much!
V. The Meaning of Life
Now, I’ve redefined my concept of success:
Mental and physical health is my number one priority (whether indirectly or directly). I realized this when working 10–12 hours a day took a toll on the strong genetic heritage my father passed down (I’m not as healthy as him until now). To improve, I walk an average of 6,000 steps daily, sleep early, meditate, and limit meat and fast food…
Relationships: I once heard someone on YouTube say, “My success is being able to talk to my children when I’m old.” Since then, I’ve made this goal symbolic of building relationships.
Financial freedom: My concept of financial freedom isn’t as vague as it used to be. To achieve financial freedom, I must reduce my desire for unnecessary things and spend just enough for my needs. Alongside that, I still need to earn a lot of money.
Now, my work has to be a part of my life. Money is the result of lifestyle, not the other way around.
It means I won’t sell my soul to capitalism. I’ll live by my own definition.
This is where I live.
Leaving Hanoi came with cutting off many relationships and opportunities.
But it was worth the trade-off.
My current work:
I started as a freelancer and am on the journey to becoming a solopreneur.
I used to offer almost every marketing service, but now I’ve narrowed it down to web and landing page design. Besides web design being a passion, “shrinking” my services allows me more time to delve into what I’m passionate about.
At 30, I decided to dabble in becoming a writer. I used to hate writing, but now it’s become a way of life.
I’m preparing to launch a digital product: website design for non-programmers (like me).
At 30 (in 2023), I decided to start over and pursue my passions step by step.
I want to make money using my mind, my interests, and my curiosity, not just by time or labor.
That’s my belief and vision.
And there are two bases to prove this vision is correct:
Applying compound interest in learning, work, and relationships — Einstein’s 8th wonder (most Vietnamese people prefer shortcuts, so it’s hard for them to benefit from this).
The development of technology (especially AI) and the internet will break traditional economic models, making way for the digital economy (digital services, products like design, content writing, video editing, programming, courses, consulting, coaching, etc.).
6 Lessons I’ve Learned from Over Half a Decade of Failure
In the journey I’ve traveled, there are many lessons I’ve learned, but here are the 6 most impactful lessons:
1. Studying philosophy for a deeper understanding of life
I used to feel restless because I lacked inner depth.
This lack of depth stemmed from needing help finding the meaning of my life.
Once I discovered my purpose, the thing I once despised (writing) became my favorite activity. I do it without needing any external motivation. I effortlessly enter a state of flow without relying on too many techniques.
When you’re in love, everything becomes easy, right?
Reflecting on philosophy is how I built my inner depth and found the meaning of my life.
Now, you can do the same.
2. Dare to fail more
If you find a mentor, that’s fantastic, like finding the sun.
Follow their guidance, learn, mimic, and find your own path.
But if you’re in a situation like mine (lost in the hustle and bustle of life), don’t hesitate to try and accept failure.
When you fail, darkness may loom. But when you look into the darkness long enough, light will emerge. Don’t hesitate to step forward and try again when you see the light.
3. Be honest about giving more
I have to admit that I used to be selfish.
In the past, I deliberately kept what I learned to myself.
But now I realize I was wrong (that was foolish and wasteful). Now, I give more and share more of my experiences in writing, especially the pitfalls I’ve been through, so that someone else can avoid them.
4. Learn less, act more
Gathering too much knowledge can overwhelm your mind, leading to overthinking and turning your brave heart into a timid rabbit. It makes you hesitate to take action, afraid to try and fail.
Learn as you go; do as you learn.
5. Health comes first
With good health, you’ll work more productively.
With good health, you’ll radiate positive energy to everyone around you.
6. Listen without judgment
I realized that everything in life is relative and there’s no absolute right or wrong.
So, I’ll try not to judge when listening to someone talk.
When you listen to all perspectives in life, you gather a vast amount of data to be creative.
But…
After listening, forget everything (because they’re not you).
Find a quiet place, listen to yourself, and then make decisions. At this point, the decisions you make are the most accurate.
Thank you for reading.
Grateful for the values I’ve given and others have received.
This article will inspire something in your life.
Stay strong in the battle of life’s challenges.
Letter from Đức Thông